As of today, I've gone on a massive deleting spree on Facebook, lost my mind more times than I can count, and generally cannot handle anything like I used to. I don't want to be social, I don't want to leave the house. I know, it's depression. It's also anxiety. It's all the crap I never wanted and now thanks to FOB (father of my baby) it's what I get to deal with every day until he disappears from herlife.
My life is WONDERFUL. I have an amazing husband, more amazing than I ever imagined, better than I ever pictured Prince Charming. I LOVE where I live, I love our place, I love my dog, I love that I don't have to punch a clock every day.
And yet still, this stupid feeling won't go away. I have tried things like exercise, diet changes, listening to music, staying busy, working through stuff to find a solution, but in this care there isn't really one. I am searching for happiness and am not sure how to find it even though my life is really not bad at all.
I made a therapy appointment for this weekend, I am hoping maybe she can help me make sense of what's going on in my head. My insecurities, lack of self esteem, and otherwise crappy mood that I don't want anymore. Wish me luck :)
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